In The Name of Me
by Terra Ashgrove
Summary: USXUS, Eddie Izzard moments follow. You have been warned. Liet/Russ too.
1. Chapter 1

It had been a long time since World War II. The days seemed longer after each war the hero faced. Now, things seemed at a stand still. His old friends would come to visit every once in awhile. Arthur had come as much as humanly possible for no reason at all. And this random guy who looked like him, claiming to be his brother, came to visit. Anyone knew who he was? Was this guy too bored to stay home? Just because he looked like Alfred did not mean he would just barge into his country and claim to be his brother! HONESTLY!

Soon, coming over the threshold was a figure, who he figured to be Arthur carrying flowers and talking to some fairies. But as the figure drew closer, the guy was slowly becoming taller and taller. In his hands were sunflowers and the very cold of his country radiating off of him. "Ivan, what are you doing here?" Alfred asked as he stood from his chair.

"I am here to see how you are, da?"  
"Really? What about the—"

"That war was a thing of the past." Ivan said with a serious look. Soon, from behind the tall man came a young boy, Peter. Meaning Arthur wasn't far behind. And surely enough, there he was. He looked at Ivan, then Alfred, and then Ivan again. The youngest nation looked around at the larger nations with curiosity about the tension.

"Why are you so quiet? Aren't you guys supposed to be lively?!"  
"Shut up, Peter." Arthur said as he looked at Peter quickly before looking at Alfred. Ivan looked at Arthur and said "Don't be mean to the poor boy. He's only curious."  
"See? I—"  
"Shut up, Peter." Russia said with a content smile. Peter just lightly huffed before looking away at what was once a seemingly nice nation. Alfred looked at the three in front of him before shaking his head. Just like old times.

He invited the three in his home and they all followed. Peter looked around at the many old things in America's history. Some of the things he decided to bring back from the storage room after a few more years since he last checked. The older nations sat at a table while the curious boy looked around the house. They sat at the kitchen table, but Alfred broke the tense silence after awhile. "Do you guys want any coke or coffee? I don't have tea or vodka, I'm afraid." Alfred said as he looked back at the fridge. "I'm not hungry." The two other countries said without realizing it. They blinked and looked back at each other.

Alfred bit his lip and asked "Is there anything that you guys might need?"  
"I was just here to visit!" the two others said again. Alfred blinked and looked around to find something better to talk about. "Besides, comrade, I think Arthur here had something to say before I came here, da?" Arthur quickly shot a look at Ivan who just smiled a tad bit too much at that. "What did you want to say?" Alfred asked suspiciously. Arthur shook his head.

"It's nothing." He managed to say through his frustration.

Ivan just raised an eyebrow that he was resisting that much. But Alfred was buying it. "Oh, alright." He said as he was wondering what frustrated him so much. He was thinking back when the heavily eyebrowed Brit was so frustrated. Last time was probably the Revolutionary War. He couldn't think what could frustrate him more at this moment. Alfred should be the frustrated one! He was in a stand still at the moment, with a lot of tension, more than what was at the table at this moment with just two other men.

Ivan's amethyst eyes looked quite pleased at the situation right now. Alfred stood and went to the bathroom. Ivan turned to Arthur and pulled out two bottles of what seemed like water, but was really vodka. (Well, vodka is Russian water, da?) He gave one to Arthur and said "Here, you seem thirsty comrade." Arthur suspiciously took it and took a sip. It tasted weird. He looked at Ivan and asked "Is this flavored water?" Ivan nodded.

"Da." He said with a smile. Arthur took a few more sips before reality was gone in a drunken mist. By the time Alfred had come back from the upstairs bathroom, Arthur had a gun in his hand and was down to his UK flag boxers. "I claim you and your house in the name of… me." He said as he put an arm around Alfred's shoulders. Alfred shook the drunken Brit off and said "You can't claim me! I live here?"  
"Do you have a flag?"  
"Yes."  
"… Really?!"

"Yeah."

"Ohhh… Well, I'm screwed." Arthur said before starting to cry and saying how unfair it was that his plan was ruined.

"Why?! If I can't conquer you, then how can I say that I love you?!" Arthur cried before stopping and laughing. He was giggling uncontrollably. Alfred turned red. Love? Really? Ivan raised an eyebrow at that. Looks like this would be even more interesting. "Comrade Alfred?" Ivan asked as Alfred looked over. "May I talk to the drunk over there?" Ivan finished with smiling eyes. Alfred figured it was for the best, so he left. Ivan walked over to the giggling ball of Brit before he knelt down and said "I think we can help each other. I'll call you tomorrow, and if my plan works… we can both be into what we want."  
"Do _you _have a flag?" Arthur asked as he looked at the large nation. Ivan sighed and nodded. "I hate my life! Why can't I conquer anymore?!"  
"You can, it's called war." Ivan said with a chuckled as he ruffled the blonde's hair. Alfred walked back inside to see the two better. "Can he put on some clothes?"

Arthur looked over at Alfred with pleading eyes. He grabbed Alfred's ankle and pleaded "Why don't you love me anymore?! Remember when we used to talk? And when we used to—What else did we do together?" Arthur cried cluelessly.


	2. Chapter 2

In England:

The next day, Arthur was hiding under his blanket, trying to hide his embarrassed face and hangover. He was mumbling something about quitting drinking. (Yeah, like that will happen) Soon, his cell phone went off. He picked it up and said "Yeah?"

"Comrade Arthur, I want you to meet me in France, da?"

"Ivan, why are you calling me-- Peter! Stop stomping around! My head is pounding enough as it is!"

Ivan chuckled. "I promised I'd call you after you asked about my flag!" he said simply.

Arthur turned red and agreed to go. He hung up and slowly made his way to the door to scold Peter for stomping around. He looked around to see Peter sitting and playing video games on his DS. "When were you stomping in this room?" he asked bluntly.

"I just walked in the room to get my DS." Peter said innocently. Arthur sighed and told him he had business in France, and he was off.

In Russia:

Ivan had gotten off the phone with Arthur, and looked at some sunflowers in his old styled vase. It reminded him of his sunflower. His crying sunflower. He turned to leave, and there Toris was. "I-I- a-are you taking o-off?" the shaking man asked. Ivan nodded and said "Da." Toris would've sighed in relief if it weren't for the fact Ivan were still in front of him. "H-have a g-g-good trip." he said as he looked away and shuffled to the kitchen to tell the others,

Ivan smiled as he walked away. _Oh, my sunflower. You will soon be mine._ he thought sweetly. He walked out of his somewhat warm home and out into the cold to catch a plane to France. He mumbled to himself, saying "Maybe Arthur could make me a love potion, da?"

In France:

The two met at Francis's house. They walked inside and found it completely empty. They walked into the living room, calling his name when they found a large wheeled in cake in the living room. Arthur blinked and asked "Francis, are you here?" He shouldn't have asked that question. Because out of that cake came Francis, topless, and possibly pantless. But they weren't about to find out.

"GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE, SEX PEST!" Arthur said with a completely red face. Russia nodded as he looked away.

"Are you sure that's a good idea, _mon ami_?" Francis asked with a wink. Arthur slapped his forehead and turned around.

"Put on some clothes and then get out of there." Arthur said grumpily. Russia also turned around as Francis climbed out of the cake and put on some proper clothes. They turned around as he finished putting on his shirt. "Alright, my friends. Let us go to a cafe down the street and see what your problems are."

_On this episode of Dr. France..._

Arthur and Ivan sat across from each other while Francis sat to the side of the table. They were given tea and pastries. Arthur sipped his tea and said "Alright, I want to tell Alfred how I feel, but I can't find a way how."

"Da, same with me." Ivan agreed. Francis thought for a moment about this. He though about this for a good two minutes before saying:

"I can always teach you the proper techniques about how to slip things in their drinks and what things could possibly turn them on." Francis said with a grin.

Arthur and Ivan just glared. "We want real advice! Not on how to rape them!" Arthur said.

"It's not rape if they don't say no." Francis said with a weakening smile. The sound of KOL KOL KOL filled the air along with strengthening glares.

"Alright, alright. I'll teach you the real techniques on how to get them." Francis said with a sigh. _Not as fun, though..._ he thought. _I'll help them with that anyway! They'll try it eventually! _he thought as he planned on how to teach them how to put in things for their drinks. He knew they'd try it eventually.


	3. Chapter 3

Francis walked with Arthur and Ivan down the street after eating at the cafe. He decided to show them proper techniques of flirting. He brought them back to his house and told them "Do you both know how to flirt?" he asked. They just looked at each other before shrugging at him. "How tragic! Good thing I am here then!" the frenchman said. The two other countries gulped before he started teaching them the proper techniques of flirting and trying to put in the 'how to put things in their drink' techniques as well as other "techniques".

After a few hours of trying of awkward practice later, Francis released them back to the outside world which had become night time by then. Ivan and Arthur sighed in relief as they walked out of the house. "I've never felt more uncomfortable in my life." Ivan said. Arthur turned to him, and just nodded. "Let's just hope it works." he said. Then Ivan remembered his idea before leaving home.

"Arthur?"

"Yes?"

"Do you make love potions?"

"Yes, why--" Then it occurred to him. They didn't have to meet with Francis, but the flirting thing was still a good idea to know (No matter how awkward!). "You are getting the same idea as me, da?" Ivan asked. Arthur nodded with a smirk.

"Come with me to my house, you can help me make it." Arthur said. Ivan nodded and they flew to England on a plane.

As they entered, Peter was there at the door. Arthur patted his head as Peter looked at the tall other man entering the room with Arthur. Peter was about to ask before Arthur said "We have business in the basement."

"I'm hungry!"

"You're a nation now, Peter. You can get food on your own."

"But--"

"Shut up, Peter!" Ivan and Arthur said together.

They walked down into the basement, it got darker and creepier as they went down the stairs. Even Ivan was getting the creeps! Arthur turned on the light and there was a large pentagram on the wall in front of a desk covered in old papers, scrolls, and books. Then there were several shelves covered in strange vials and containers filled with who-knows-what. "So, are you an expert in potions?" Ivan said as his amethyst eyes looked at Arthur's green ones. There was a pause.

"Well, none of my potions have failed, but there might be side effects." Arthur said simply.

"Side effects?"

"Nothing bad, but I am very precise in my potion making. Nothing had been over or under measured. You can help me find the ingredients. I could always need the help since it takes me awhile to find some of the bloody things." Arthur explained. Ivan hesitated before nodding. He understood, and it would be a good idea for him to help Arthur get this done as soon as possible.

So, Arthur looked through his books and found the perfect love potion they would need. He looked at the ingredients before rolling up his sleeves and looking through the dusty shelves. He told Ivan what could be up on the higher shelves where he believed ingredients could be. As they gathered everything, a fairy came over to Arthur. "What are you doing?" she asked as others came over.

"Oh, me and Ivan are making a love potion." he said simply.

"For who?" another fairy asked.

"I don't know for him, but you know who for me." Arthur said as the fairies nodded. Ivan put the last of the ingredients on the table before asking

"Arthur, are you alright?" Arthur quickly whipped his head around.

"Of course, the fairies are just here talking to me." Ivan just blinked before nodding.

"Da, of course." he said with a shake of his head.

Arthur pulled out a pot and started putting in the exact measurements and as he did, the mixture started turning pink. And once the last of the ingredients was put into the pot and the mixture started glowing. He pulled out a few vials and carefully poured the potion into the vials, making sure nothing spilt. He was careful like that. After everything was poured into sealed vials, Arthur gave half to Ivan. "Good luck." he said.

"Da, but how do you give it to them."

"Oh, right!" he said as he turned to the book. He read through it before shaking his head. "We have to slip it into their drinks..." he muttered as he heard Francis's voice saying "I told you so~"


	4. Chapter 4

_A few days later..._

During that small amount of time, Arthur and Ivan had been working on how to get Alfred and Toris to drink the love potion through a drink. They finally came to a final alternative. A tea party. It wasn't bad at all, but it would help. Arthur was a master in the art of the tea party. Kiku and Yao could try, but Arthur was a master. So, it was set at Arthur's house and the invitations were sent out. Ivan returned home to give Toris the invite and Arthur sent the invitation to Alfred through air mail.

The day finally arrived and Arthur had finished setting up. He had a large round table set up with the finest china anyone could use for a tea party. He just hoped no one would break it. At least it wasn't his best. It was his third, and he had already lost a cup anyway. The cups had a light blue rim design around it with a light blue handle that curled at the bottom. The plates were similar. He made some of the pastries, and bought others because he knew he'd be the only one to eat his own pastries anyway.

Ivan and a scared looking Toris arrived first. After a half hour, Alfred arrived "fashionably" late. They were sitting silently for awhile before Alfred asked "Can I get coffee instead? You know I don't like tea..." Arthur saw this as his chance.

"Of course, Alfred."

"Really, I--"

"Let me get it now!" Arthur sharply interrupted. Alfred snapped his mouth shut as Arthur left to make him some coffee. He never screwed up drinks... much.

Ivan snuck some vodka into his tea and sipped it. Toris looked at Ivan and asked "Wh-why am I-I here?" He was curious to this. He knew Arthur liked Alfred and Alfred was too full of himself to realize it. Ivan had the vials of love potion in his coat pocket now. Tea usually went right through Toris, so when he came back from the bathroom for another drink. But he'd have to be very careful.

Arthur was in the kitchen, sneakily putting in the love potion into the coffee. Once the whole vial-full was in, he put the vial away and walked back out with a mug of coffee. He placed it in front of a hesitant Alfred. Alfred slowly picked it up and took sip. "Wow, this is good!" he said in shock. Arthur tried his best not to smile evilly, and it was working... for now.

Toris had gotten up to go to the bathroom. Ivan filled his cup with more tea and put in the love potion. When Toris came back, he found the full cup of tea. "Drink, da!" Ivan said with a small smile. Toris too was hesitant before taking a sip. He put the cup down, stood up, walked over to Arthur, and then tackled him. "Arthur, I never realized how green your eyes are..." Toris said with a smirk. Arthur's eyes widened at this. That's when Alfred grabbed Toris' collar and asked forcefully "Cake or death?!"

"Cake please." Toris said before getting one of Arthur's pastries shoved into his mouth. Alfred let Toris go so he could get the taste out of his mouth. Before Alfred could say anything, Ivan grabbed Arthur and dragged him into the kitchen. "Arthur! What happened?! My sunflower should be going after me!" Ivan growled. Arthur looked nervous. "I'll figure it out, I don't know what went wrong, but I'll find a cure for it quick and we'll start all over again!" he said quickly.

Ivan sighed and turned to find Alfred bouncing on his heels. The caffeine must've affected the potion, or he would've been infatuated with one of them. Arthur pushed past Alfred and grabbed the coffee he made for Alfred. He walked over to a pining Toris and said "I would like it if you drank this." Toris grabbed the coffee and he downed it. That's when he too went into hyper mode. Arthur sighed, they were back to square one. And now he was surrounded by idiots...


End file.
